Drama-Trauma

September 18, 2008

 

Drama-Trauma is the herbal remedy that I ordered the other day for my grand-cat, Effie.  She is a small cat who is having difficulty accepting her new roommate, our 140 lb Newfie, Sheba.  Sheba is only there temporarily, but Effie doesn’t know that.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 “Drama-Trauma is especially good for cats, but works for other animals as well. Use this blend if your pet suffers from anxiety, fear/panic, stress, inattentiveness, and if he/she has drama queen tendencies. This blend eases the ride on life’s rollercoaster and is very similar to the Rescue® Remedy blend sold for people.”

 

 I know a lot of people who could benefit from a spritz of this, myself included.  The world is especially crazy right now with violent hurricanes destroying homes and infrastructure and volatile financial markets destroying retirement funds and jobs. 

This is kind of time that makes people question the essential goodness of God.  “How could God allow this to happen to me?”  we say.  But  this question fails to take into account the fact that it is not about us.  There is a bigger picture that we can’t see.  God is good, he is not the one that messes up our lives.  We do it to each other and to ourselves.  And the really bad thing is that we keep doing it again and again.  We find it hard to choose to live another way! 

People and institutions get addicted to drama and trauma, it makes us feel important and like our lives have meaning.  How sad is that?  If you read the Bible, you know that to God everyone of us is so important and meaningful that he knows the number of the hairs on our heads.   

 

 

Who else knows us that well and loves us that much?   Yet I know churches and people who can’t get anything done unless there is a crisis or conflict that forces them to do it.  Do you really want to live in that drama-trauma? 

 

 

 Why not live in the serenity of growing into all that God created you to be? 

Apprenticeship - A Lost Art in Churches?

September 10, 2008

I am stressed out by the fact that we are having a lot of work done on our house. The microwave is in my son’s bedroom and I have to wash dishes in the bathroom. Gross! Nothing is where it should be and everything is dusty. But the good part is that I have met some competent and interesting carpenters, electricians, plumbers, and tile people.

All of these workers have a formal or informal apprenticeship system. No one works alone – there is always another working beside them. And I have learned more than I ever thought I would about installing windows and plumbing as I hear overhear the masters answer the questions of their apprentices. But the thing is there isn’t a lot of talking. Most of the teaching is by watching and then doing, assisting the master as he or she does their job.

Why have we lost this concept in churches? In most churches, leadership is a burden because it means doing all the work. In thriving churches, no job is ever done alone. Visitation is done as a team; worship space preparation is done as a team. Everyone is in the process of mentoring or being mentored.

The joy is that life is more fun and more meaningful this way. Church goes beyond a maintenance model into a model of building people into deeper, more competent Christian leaders. Can there be anything more exciting?

Showering in an Unfamiliar Bathroom or Hospitality in North American Churches

September 4, 2008

I have now had the extremely unpleasant experience of showering in our “other “ bathroom. Meaning, of course, the bathroom that I never use. Let me say now to anyone who has ever showered there:

I am sorry I put you through that.

The shower head doesn’t work right, the water is alternately cold and scalding, and the door breaks when you look at it.

For twenty years, I have subjected my children and guests - people I would lay down my life for - to terrible hospitality and I never knew – okay, I knew about the door but I thought it was fixed.

Please visit us again, I promise: Changes will be made.

The sad thing is that most North American Churches don’t care to know that they are not hospitable.

They profess to love children, but have no changing tables for babies.

They want new people to come to church, but then lock all of the visible entrances to the church. “Oh – everybody knows that we come in through the back entrance that goes through the kitchen.”

They say that they are welcoming, but no one talks to visitor s, the coffee is bad, and they won’t let you bring your own.

I recommend that every pastor and church leader visit at least four churches besides their own every year. Not during vacation time, this should be part of the job description. This is your showering in an unfamiliar bathroom experience – you see the good, the bad and the ugly about other churches … and yours.

Now, it is time to make some changes.

Throwing Things Away

September 1, 2008

We are getting some long needed renovations in our house – so, to make way for the demolition (what a great and terrifying word) – I am throwing things away.

There is a lot of soul building involved in throwing things away. You are facing the reality of your past (“I must have been insane to think that I would ever need that many napkin rings”).

You are making a choice about what path you will take in the future (“No , I am not going to drink from that stupid pink plastic cup again … ever”).

You are deciding the new ways in which you will live your life from now on (“With God as my witness, I will not use plastic utensils again!)

Too many people and institutions cling to their stuff and never throw things away. I know once thriving churches who now have 130 people in worship and have a Board and Committee structure that requires 120 people. Do they really need that many people running things?

As the daughter of a history professor, I grew up visiting historical sites and reading about the past. I have a healthy respect for it. But, the past can become an idol.

Institutions and people need to ask themselves: how can we be and do what God wants in this time and this place?